So what do you think of my conversation with John? How do you think the rest of this conversation went?

Question

One day John finds my profile online, he knows that he's well over my age preference. He is 50. I am 38. I have made it clear that I do not want to date anyone over 10 years older than me. I have also made it clear that if still possible, I would like to have children. John, decides to contact me anyway and asks me to make an "exception" for him, in regards to his age.

John (age 50): Would you make an exception in regards to the age preference?

Me (age 38): Hi John, I guess it's true that men prefer to date women who are much younger than them.

John (age 50): You're a bit younger than me. But your age had nothing to do with my interest in contacting you. I decided to contact you because I really like your profile.

Me (age 38): Oh, ok then. So what are you looking for. I would like to marry and have children.

John (age 50): I would like to marry. But kids, I'm not sure. I really love my nephews, but having my own kids. I'm not sure about that. I'm looking forward to having some really great conversations with you.

n2mama · Answer

You: Well John, I’m 38 years old, so in just two years only 10% of the eggs I have left can result in a healthy pregnancy, so my biological clock is ticking loudly. I don’t have time to waste with a 50 year old man who doesn’t know if he wants kids or not.
John: Bye Felicia

g · Answer

He's not "well over" your age preference if that's within 10 years of your own age as stated. It's only two years difference. The issue isn't the number here but rather the willingness to start a family at a rather more advanced age than the nirm - for both of you.

nonchalant_muse · Answer

The conversation itself is a little lacking in communication. You never directly answered the question "Would you make an exception in regards to the age preference?" instead making a generalized statement that men prefer to date women much younger than them. You need to be direct with this: are you or are you not willing to make an exception?

It seems you both desire marriage one day, while you both are not on the same page when it comes to the subject of children. "Not sure" is on-the-fence. You need to ask yourself if this is a deal breaker for you: is having children one day an absolute must for you?

If you cannot make an exception and/or having children is an absolute must, then the two of you are not compatible.

Sapper · Answer

John..."I got tons of money"
You......" I will be right over"
John...."I don't want any rugrats"
You......."Not a problem, I have fallen in love with you now"

Anonymous · Answer

Hopefully you said thank you for your time, but I am unable to check off two very important tick marks on my list. Reaching 50 and not knowing if you want children overrules the age difference and is a deal-breaker. At 38 you do not have time to waste on someone that does not know by 50 what they want.

So what do you think of my conversation with John? How do you think the rest of this conversation went?

5 Answers