Altercation at school ?

First of all, for the person who said that this incident is a case of "kids being kids"- Attitudes like that one have gotten many, many people HURT AND KILLED over the past 30 years or so. That kind of thinking is one of the reasons WHY we keep seeing school shootings, in fact. Every major school shooting we've seen in the US, from Columbine clear through Parkland and beyond, was motivated by one thing and one thing ALONE: A desire for REVENGE, for some act or ACTS, whether REAL or IMAGINED, on the part of the person or people doing the shooting. One of the ways that shooters like Nicky Cruz (the Parkland shooter) end up like they do is because incidents like the one that Andera has asked about here get ignored or shoved under the rug, and dismissed as though they were nothing. This is SERIOUS, and it needs to be taken seriously. It's a clear example of BULLYING- one that was serious enough to result in a child being hurt- and it sounds to ME as though the school is basically ignoring it.

You aren't wrong, Andera. If this were my daughter, I would be furious with the school, and there would be some heated conversations between me, the principal, the teacher or teachers, and if necessary, the district superintendent. And the boy who did this to my daughter would be facing a long suspension- AND a mandate to get some counseling and help so that he can work through whatever issues he's dealing with without putting any other child (or ADULT) at risk. And I would give the school just SO LONG to cooperate with my demands, or they'd be hearing from my attorney about a possible LAWSUIT.

Of course you don't want your daughter to grow up thinking that it's okay for another child to act that way towards her. NO parent wants that, at least none that I've ever seen. But unless this behavior is addressed immediately, and the boy in question receives a strong punishment, it will happen again- and the next time, it will be MUCH, MUCH WORSE. Bullies don't "go away" when they are ignored. They ESCALATE their behavior, because THEY LEARN, QUICKLY, that they can GET AWAY with whatever it was they did, and that their victim won't fight back. I'm a survivor of years of bullying and abuse myself, so I know what I'm talking about. So the cycle of bullying and abuse will continue, and it will get worse and worse, and worse- until the day finally comes when the child (who may and most likely will be a teenager by then) finally SNAPS. At that point, the end result is usually a PREVENTABLE tragedy of some sort- whether it's suicide, or something like a revenge related shooting.

I've been watching this cycle happen repeatedly for the past 25 years or so, and it's always the same. The shooters in every case are motivated by their need for revenge, because most of them have endured YEARS (and in the case of the Columbine shooters, close to a decade) of abuse, bullying, and mistreatment by their peers, teachers, and the officials at their schools, who often have their heads jammed so far up their rear ends in DENIAL about what is going on and what these kids are dealing with every day of their lives that they are staring at their tonsils from the rear!!. It can even be argued that they are as much victims as the kids and adults that they KILL or have killed, in fact- but no one pays much attention to this reality.  Instead, they focus on something that is totally irrelevant, such as the misguided belief that a lot of political types have that banning guns is the way to stop a school shooting. IT ISN'T, because these shootings AREN'T ABOUT GUNS or GUN ACCESS. Instead, they are about things like MENTAL ILLNESS, developmental disabilities like Autism, BULLYING, and how America treats its children and teens who have the misfortune to be BORN WITH or to develop any or ALL of these problems while growing up. And the fact is, America treats its mentally ill and developmentally disabled citizens and non-citizens like SH*T most of the time.

Banning guns isn't the answer to stopping school shootings. Neither is restricting the rights of law abiding gun owners and gun purchasers. Arming teachers isn't a solution either. Putting cops in schools? No. That's bad for multiple reasons, starting with the message it sends, which is that students are to be viewed with suspicion and not to be trusted under any circumstances. In other words, they are guilty until proven innocent, no matter what, when it should be the other way around. There is only one real way to end the cycle of violence in America's schools, and that is to address the real causes of  these horrible shootings: the mental illness, the BULLYING, and the TOXIC CULTURE that exists in American public education, primarily at the high school level, but which also exists in the primary and middle grades. That starts with NOT IGNORING incidents like the one that Andera has written this question about. Attitudes like "kids will be kids" and "kids must learn to fight their own battles" do NOTHING to help in situations like this one.

What’d she do? Did she hit him, throw something at him etc.? If this kid just hauled off and pushed her and kicked her without physical provocation then contact the school and ask for more detail. The boy may have been disciplined. But if your daughter instigated a physical confrontation you need to have a chat with her about hitting people. 

How do you know nothing was done to the boy? The school can't reveal to you disciplinary actions taken against another child. You don't know what they said to the boy's parents, or what action those parents took. Have you asked the school? 

Last week?, I would have been at the school talking directly to the principal when I was informed.  I would want to know the school’s policies. That he pushed her to the ground is one thing, but as she laying on the ground the boy kicked her would set me off.

please allow the school to handle this unless/until the incidents become multiple [at least three].  the other 9 year old needs to be given time to learn that his behavior is not acceptable.

This sounds like kids being kids. It’s not that serious. They’re 9. You should ask what punishment the other child got. I’m assuming he was given detention or something similar. Hopefully his parents were notified as well. If the other kid wasn’t punished at all, then you should meet with the principal. Elementary schools don’t usually suspend kids unless they do something very serious. It’s not that unusual for little kids to get in fights. If your daughter did the same thing to another kid, I’m guessing you wouldn’t think it’s that serious. It’s certainly not a police matter, or a case to get the courts involved with. 

Have a doctor examine your daughter, notify the police about the assault, get a lawyer, and sue the school for your medical bills.