My cemetery get-out-the-vote effort is a failure. How do Democrats make such a strong connection with the postmortem voter?

We Democrats are very spiritual [insert laffy face here].

It has been the unpopular corporate-colluding Republicans who use Nathan Sproul and his ilk to cheat during election years. Democrats outnumber Republicans so all we need to do is turn out the voters and override the voter suppression tactics used by the cheat-to-win GOP.

Despite you wacky misconceptions dead people don't turn out to vote. They just stay on the voter rolls until state law says they get dropped for not voting.

It seems a lot of democrats need to be tossed in jail. They are quite the liars, huh?

False premise.

Try Hallowe'en.

"human error" is usually the excuse