How YOU want IT to be or how IT wants YOU to be?

I cannot see why Brian would think that your question is misleading and if he does not supply us with a reason then we can only guess at what is meant by this statement. Since you have asked this question in the philosophical department of Yahoo answers I suppose we had better set to work on carving out a philosophical response.

The enlightenment gave us the notion of Free Will. This I think is very important and is what Brian is talking about when he says that "How You want IT" is closer to reality. In a nutshell free will means that we have the capability to decide the course of our lives because we have the capability to "reason". Reason is the mechanic that we employ when we give to support our thoughts. I think, that like Brian, "How YOU want IT" is more or less how the world is yet I think a disclaimer should be added: This would be, "How You THINK you want IT".

Talking the second part of your question to task. "How IT wants YOU to be" is ambiguous. I take it to mean that you are suggesting that in this sense our thoughts are not our own. The logician would argue that this is not possible because for the fact that "my" thought is "my" thought. But I think you are onto something. A lot of Marxist philosophy takes its leave from the idea that our identity is something that is socially constructed; therefore our thoughts about ourselves are not wholly "mind dependent". We are, according to the Marxist socially constructed thinkers and our thoughts are carved to a greater or lesser degree as independent from our minds. Or simply described as "mind independent".

To answer your question. I think that your questions provoke two very important discussions of how we perceive ourselves and in particular our identity. If we treat them as questions that probe our conception of identity I think you have asked a very complex but useful question.

It is not either/or when something as dynamic as life is concerned. Because of the inviolable duality of all reality, the golden mean or the middle path or the balance is what becomes the most important. We do need to steer our life in accordance with our aims and wishes as necessary, but in order to be able to do that substantially, we need to know when to accept and adapt to what life offers us contrary to what we believe to be desirable....... the context, circumstances and timing determine whether we need to drive our life as we want or be driven by life as it unfolds...... the beauty of it all is that neither of the two can survive for long by itself; and almost as though ordained unconditionally, one invariably would lead to the other in due course. Our greatest tool is rational wisdom to be able to determine and stick to the golden mean and a balanced approach.

If you are dominating type, you never think about how it wants you to be. But in a deeper level both have got the same will. But in surface level, one must learn to capitalize on both.

Hi dude, IT is more important if YOU comes with IT, and YOU is more important if IT doesn't come with YOU.

We have free will,choices to make but also fate plays a big role.Destiny.

It's how it wants you to be,how you want it to be.You will want it to be because it wants

you to be.By that I mean God.

i think both terms are misleading but ill entertain the question

I think:

"how IT wants YOU to be" is an illusion

"How YOU want IT to be" is closer to reality