Math of Life?

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he

needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that

she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until

she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future

until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more

money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find

such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must

understand him a lot and love him a

little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love

her a lot and not try to understand

her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single

men,

but married men are a lot more

willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will

change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that

she

won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any

argument.

Anything a man says after that is the

beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU

ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at

weddings, poking me in the ribs and

cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the

same thing to them at funerals.

=D