Sir Caustic

I've given this a lot of thought, but I still can't quite decide whether to write a pastiche of "Jane Eyre" or the recently-discovered de Sade novel "Smacking Molly's Bottom - The Marks of Interrogation".

So I've decided to meld the two books into one. Sort of a mix of the two "styles", as it were.

The problem is I don't know how to go about doing it, why I should do it, or what drugs to take while writing it. And, to be honest, I can't really be bothered doing it at all. I simply have no interest in this whole project. Not one bit. It's nothing but a complete waste of time.

What I really want from you people is this: if I do this, is it really appropriationing? I'm so confused.

Help. Thanks.

Hello. Please answer this question by typing your answer into the "Add your answer" field, below. Thank you.

I'm confused after reading the first book in the "Lord of the Flies" trilogy. The point points of confusion are:

(1) I can't seem to find the last two books in the series. Amazon don't sell them, or have sold out of them and when I went to my nearest bookstore, yesterday, the staff were very uncooperative and looked at me funny.

(2) I didn't notice one, single Hobbit, Dwarf or Elf. One character - "Piggy" - was very hobbit-like, but he seemed to be too tall.

(3) The book did not resemble, in any way, the series of films that Disney produced a few years ago, directed by Peter Parker.

(4) The author's name is completely wrong. Or, perhaps, I have a very rare copy with the wrong author on the cover.

Thank you for any help you can give. I'm at my wit's end. The future looks bleak. Help. Please help.....